


Codename Hummingbird

by stan



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Language of Flowers, M/M, Mutual Pining, and they work together, bobby is an editor, junhwe is a poet, so many metaphors, that's basically it i love romantic shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 15:01:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16369838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stan/pseuds/stan
Summary: They say those who are visited by a hummingbird are invited to enjoy the sweetness of life and express love more freely.(In which Junhwe is a poet and Jiwon, his hummingbird).





	Codename Hummingbird

**Author's Note:**

> for my very own hummingbird, **eloisa**. maybe i was too lucky to attract you. thank you for finding sweetness inside me and making spring last all year in my life.
> 
> title from the brazilian song codinome beija-flor, by cazuza.

For Junhwe, it was only a matter of time.

After arriving, he ordered his usual banana muffin with sprinkles on top and a cup of hot chocolate, smiling at his favorite barista before going for his usual spot at the coffee shop.

He fixed the napkins on the left side of the table and looked outside only to be touched by the flower buds coming to say hello at the balcony, still a little bit shy due to the chilly weather, but always a courtesy of the beautiful show that was the arrival of spring.

Every detail outside contrasted strongly with the dim-lighted, burgundy and dark green, grainy Instagram filter that were the coffee shop’s insides, and that antithesis was present in most of Junhwe’s poems, or at least the ones he wrote from March to September.

From the dark wood chosen for the tables to the details on the curtains, everything matched with the smooth, velvety feeling at the end of Junhwe’s pen, being that the main source of his peace of mind.

All the little things mattered, because for Junhwe, finding inspiration was always a matter of being in the right place, at the right time.         

As the man waited for his breakfast, he opened his laptop on the table and turned it on. He couldn’t avoid the feeling of his fingertips itching to grab the pen and paper on the inside pockets of his favorite black jacket — that he carefully matched with black pants and a black shirt — but he knew that his passion couldn’t be his priority at the moment.

The thing was: for Junhwe, poetry was organic. It flowed through his brain like a river, always in touch with the blooming thoughts on his mind. It was effortless, intimate and real. His poems could be whatever they wanted to be, constantly open to philosophies and personal experiences.

He liked poetry because it was bigger than the words he chose. It wasn’t something imperative; he was simply a mediator between abstract feelings and concrete reality.

Intimately, Junhwe felt lucky because he was able see what other people couldn’t. He didn’t need to create a scenario: the scenario created itself, different in each individual’s mind, allowing people to relate or learn, even if they didn’t share the same amount of experiences.

And although it was beautiful, it was also his strongest distraction, as his current task, was other. Life and art weren’t always that easy.

Real life got on his way after his first two poetry books were a huge success, impressing critics all over the country. Ironically, instead of being encouraged to write more poetry, Junhwe got a love call from his publisher explaining they had eyes on a romance for now.

Needless to say, Junhwe fell for the hopes of a change of environments and horizon expansions, taking him two or three weeks to realize that he fell, in fact, into a creative trap.

The man thought writing would be fun no matter what, considering the creative process could be somewhat similar between poetry and novels. However, Junhwe wasn’t meant for detailed plots and describing environments, he didn’t have the eye for detail.

In other words, Junhwe hated the obligation of guiding the readers by the hand, explaining every single feeling so others could feel them too. He was used to poetry, and poetry was much more than that.

“Here’s your order,” Chanwoo — the barista and Junhwe’s friend — said, as he put the food on the table. At the lack of response, he sighed. “Junhwe!” he called the man’s attention with a raise of his voice and a snap of his fingers.

Junhwe shook his head, diverting his attention from the laptop’s screen. “Sorry, got distracted…” he looked up.

“Troubles in writing paradise?” Chanwoo asked, taking a spot on the seat right in front of Junhwe.

“As always, yes.” Junhwe took a sip of his hot chocolate and hummed in delight, Chanwoo really was the best barista in the world. “The publisher assigned me an assistant for the next weeks, to revise my work and help me.”

Chanwoo grabbed one of the napkins and started playing with it. “But this is great news, isn’t it? Maybe you’ll get over your creativity block, who knows?”

Junhwe knew Chanwoo was right, he should use all the help that was offered to him, especially if it was for free. The publishers like him very much and would do anything in order to motivate him. However, he couldn’t help but be afraid that this new assistant would touch his work and try to mold it as theirs.

He still needed his independence and autonomy. It was what he valued the most as a writer.

“When are you meeting them?” Chanwoo asked after a while, completely focused on the origami work in his hands, just to see if would help Junhwe to ease the tension a little bit.

“In like…” he checked his laptop, “twenty minutes. I said that we could meet here, that I would be on this table and probably a barista would be sitting right in front of me instead of doing his job.”

Chanwoo spared a glance at Junhwe, completely unamused before returning to his origami. At the silence, Junhwe started working on his notes and reviewing his possible questions. He wanted the time to go as fast as possible, so he could get the answers he needed to write again without anyone telling him what to do.

He only got distracted when the bell at the entrance door rang indicating a new costumer, which got an immediate reaction out of the barista.

 _Pavlov’s dog_ , Junhwe thought.

The younger man got up and Junhwe turned on his chair to check if it was indeed the publisher’s assistant, only being sure when the guy stopped right in front of his table after being followed by his curious eyes the entire time.

To put it lightly, Junhwe was mesmerized. Damn, the guy was completely _his type_. Brown hair that looked really soft, a sweet crooked smile and one of the coolest bomber jackets that the writer had ever seen. All of his features seemed young, but he had this aura that made it look like he knew all the secrets to the words Junhwe needed.

He was real, and it was only when Chanwoo threw the origami flower in his face that Junhwe realized the man was staring at him, probably waiting for him to say something.

“I’m sorry, hello!” Junhwe shook his head and stood up, extending his hand for a handshake. “My name is Junhwe, but you probably know that already…”

Chanwoo snorted at the awkward phrasing, but Junhwe skipped past that.

“I’m Jiwon, it’s a pleasure to meet you!” Jiwon accepted the handshake, placing his pen and paper on the table before turning his attention to the barista. “And you’re probably the friend Junhwe mentioned, right?”

“Chanwoo, best friend slash the most amazing barista. Good luck working with Junhwe,” the younger male advised as if the writer wasn’t right beside them. “Can I get your order?”

“I’ll have a Macchiato and a croissant, thank you,” Jiwon smiled and batted his eyelashes and Junhwe wondered if he was always that captivating.

As Chanwoo left to his place behind the counter, the assistant sat right in front of Junhwe and opened his Moleskine, searching for a clean page before grabbing his pen to write the date, followed by Junhwe’s name at the very top.

“So tell me, Junhwe. What exactly are you looking for on your book? The boss told me about it, but I want to hear it from you.” He looked up and pushed his glasses up on his nose, completely interested in whatever answer the other man would come up with.

Junhwe noticed that Jiwon reminded him of his therapist and sighed at the sudden reminder of coming up with an excuse to reschedule his next appointment.

“Well, I have never written a love story before, so I thought I could go a little bit abstract to get started,” Junhwe began explaining, “and that’s why I chose to write the story of the sun and the moon, and how they fell in love despite never being able to be together.”

Jiwon nodded and scribbled something Junhwe couldn’t see, his silence giving the other man the opportunity to keep going. “The publisher wants me to go mainstream, so it’ll be about a straight couple,” he made a face involuntarily and Jiwon laughed at it, “and how no matter the circumstances they meet, they can only be together for an hour or so.”

At that, Chanwoo came back with the assistant’s order and winked at Junhwe before he left. The thought lingered on the writer’s mind for a second before dissipating at the sound of the assistant’s voice.

“It’s a great idea,” Jiwon said after sipping on his coffee. “You seem so sure of your plot that I wonder why you’re having trouble writing it, to be honest.”

“Well…” Junhwe scratched the back of his neck. “They keep sending my drafts back and saying it lacks romance. That I should guide the readers and make them feel something. I have no idea what I’m doing wrong.”

Jiwon gestured asking for permission to get the writer’s laptop. “Can I give it a read?”

To be honest, the longest minutes of Junhwe’s life happened between the moment he opened his draft until when Jiwon finished reading the pages he had written so far. He even tried making up what each of the assistant’s facial expressions meant, as an excuse to stare at him for a little longer, but all Jiwon ever did was fix his glasses and eat his croissant.

It wasn’t a bad sight, but the circumstances made him not enjoy it to the fullest.

Junhwe gave up and sat back, answering a few e-mails on his phone as he waited to be judged by his brand new assistant.

“It does lack romance.” Jiwon stated boldly, closing the laptop and getting all of Junhwe’s attention back to him. “I can definitely see that you’re a poet by the way that you write, and I think you understand your new public; you just don’t know how to portray romance in a concrete way.”

The writer blinked once, twice, three times. He never considered that, for he was a master at romance. His words made people fall in love, confess their feelings, and even recover from heartbreaks. Junhwe even received wedding invitations, leaving Chanwoo to call him a cupid a few times.

That was harsh.

“That’s not possible,” he said calmly, even if he was starting to boil inside, completely defensive about his art. “I write romantic poetry, I _understand_ romance.”

“Oh no, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t say you don’t understand romance,” Jiwon waved dismissively.  “You obviously do. I’ve read your books and they’re fantastic,” he flashed him a serene smile to back up his statement. “I’m only saying you don’t know how to bring that to real life. Your characters are supposed to be soulmates, but they don’t feel it. Where are the butterflies that should be in their stomachs? Why aren’t their hearts beating so fast that they’re afraid that the other person can hear it?”

Oh.

“And if they don’t feel it, neither will your readers, do you understand? I think that’s what the publisher means when they return your drafts.” Jiwon slowly slipped the laptop back to Junhwe’s side of the table, a bit tense after saying the truth.

 _Oh_.

Everything made sense to Junhwe now. Which didn’t mean it was any easier to accept, but he could totally understand it.

The writer had never been in love and he despised romantic movies, so he couldn’t possibly know everything about relationships. See, he wasn’t dumb: he had seen a lot of couples in his life and he could name a few couple habits at the top of his head, but he still lacked the experience to pass to his characters.

For the first time, he was lacking in his writing skills.

And it sucked.

So he blurted the first response that came through his head.

“And what makes you an expert in romance, Jiwon? Can I really trust you?” Junhwe leaned forward and rested his chin on his hand, challenging.

“Well…” the assistant avoided eye contact for the first time, shifting in his seat and grabbing the origami flower Chanwoo left unattended on the table. “I experienced the most beautiful relationship I’ve ever witnessed. And I also majored in creative writing. I’m qualified to help, Junhwe, don’t worry,” he concluded with a forced smile and a nod.

And as much as Junhwe wasn’t enjoying the conversation they were having at the moment, he still felt something inside of him shift as he watched Jiwon’s eyes so focused on the poorly made origami flower in his hands, pretending as if he was really that entertained by it.

Maybe he was feeling hope that his book would be a success at the end, because there was nothing more he wanted at that same moment.

Or maybe he was feeling relieved because watching Jiwon searching for the nearest flower when he was restless just gave Junhwe an idea for the title of his next poetry book.

Still, Junhwe could totally see that his outside didn’t match his insides. He knew his dark eyes were not very inviting, and his black hair was a mess due to all the times he ran his fingers through it while Jiwon was criticizing his work.

The writer knew he shouldn’t be so immature, but he wasn’t used to being judged. The assistant was only doing his job.

Before the wind changed the climate in his mind, Junhwe chose to follow the warmth inside of his body because he knew that this would take him down a successful path.

“You do know I want my story to have a happy ending, right?” He raised his eyebrows, and hoped Jiwon understood what the question implied.

So yes, it was great to see him smile in response. “I do, and I can help you persuade that.”      

And at the very same moment Junhwe got a text from the publisher setting a new deadline for the first chapter to be done.

He _needed_ to rely on the assistant.

“Then teach me, Jiwon,” the writer crossed his arms. “Teach me what love is all about.”

“It’ll be a pleasure, Junhwe,” the other man declared, pointing at Junhwe’s muffin and grabbing it after receiving a nod as an approval.

They had a deal.

\---

At the same table, in the same coffee shop, Junhwe and Jiwon met again the following week.

Both men were on their second coffee of the morning, going through all Junhwe’s drafts and notes and seeing where the characters could go romantic wise based on their personalities, and how far they should take every chapter.

Jiwon had the difficult task of teaching Junhwe the basics of human emotion and how to translate that to gestures and explanations, but he kept the mood bright and light throughout the entire meeting, which surprised Junhwe the same amount that it relaxed him.

Different from what Junhwe thought before, working with an assistant was actually pleasant, and he was very didactic, able to bring to the table all the real life knowledge the writer had.

“What makes you happy, Junhwe?” Jiwon asked, wiping his glasses clean on the hem of his shirt.

Junhwe looked up, as if his eyes could look for the answers somewhere in the garden that was his brain.

“My puppy makes me very happy,” Junhwe chuckled and Jiwon followed. Of course the first thing on his mind would be something far away from romance, but very close to love, at least.

“Good! And what do you feel when you come home to your puppy?”

Junhwe sighed, a little bit embarrassed. This was ridiculous; he never talked about any of his feelings, not even the simple ones.

“I feel relieved that she’s still there and very touched that she was waiting for me,” he describes with a smile. “Also surprised that her tiny little brain still remembers me.”

 _Damn_ , it really felt good to earn a laugh from Jiwon.

“And why can’t your characters feel the same when they meet each other? I bet they hearts also melt when they see the ones they love and that serotonin fills their brains when they hug. You can write that, you just have to adapt,” the assistant offered, his voice almost drowned by the sound of Junhwe fast-typing on his laptop.

Junhwe wasn’t about to make his characters the same, though. He didn’t lift his eyes from the screen, but talked as soon as he had the opportunity.

“How about you, Jiwon?” he returned the question, and after the other man just hummed in curiosity, he added, “What makes _you_ happy?”

“Let me see…” the bunny-toothed man started, slightly taken aback by the sudden change of attention and leaning back on his chair. “Flowers make me happy. Sounds cliché, but their different meanings are a great source of energy for art, and they’re a sweet way to communicate. They relax me because they make every ambient so beautiful, even on the inside because spring is so inspiring.”

Junhwe didn’t even notice he stopped typing in the middle of Jiwon’s speech as he tried to absorb the way the other man’s features changed when he talked about something he loved.

For science, obviously.

Or art.

He noticed how the assistant’s eyes wandered to find the object of his brief analysis, and he wrote a quick mental note to make his character’s eyes always follow the girl of his dreams, even if no one needed help to remember what was so ingrained into their heads.

Junhwe also paid attention to how Jiwon gesticulated more as he dove into his own heart, thinking maybe his characters should move their arms as they talked about each other, because love was able to open the cage and set them free.

“Sorry, I’m rambling,” Jiwon interrupted his own speech and Junhwe’s drifting mind all at once.

“It’s fine, it’s fine!” Junhwe exclaimed all too quickly. “It’s good to see someone so passionate. All the experiences that I have are from watching Chanwoo talking about games, and it’s not relatable enough to help me with my work.”

Both men checked the time, only to be surprised by how long they spent talking that morning. Junhwe made a joke about how time flies, to which Jiwon completed by saying how time is like a bird and it flies faster as it chases pleasurable ambiences.

The tingling sensation at Junhwe’s hands couldn’t possibly be from how good it felt to be considered an enjoyable companion, right?

He still archived that on his mind for future reference just in case.

Jiwon finished his coffee and closed his notebook, standing up to grab the blue bomber jacket that was gently hung on the back of his chair.

“Can we meet for lunch on Wednesday?” he suggested. “I’ll be traveling at the end of the week, and since we’re only going to talk a little about the book…”

“Works for me,” Junhwe replied as if he wasn’t planning to agree with anything Jiwon suggested at this point. “See you on Wednesday, Jiwon.”

Jiwon waved Junhwe goodbye and walked outside, good at pretending he didn’t feel the great burn of Junhwe’s stare on his back all the way out of the coffee shop.

He also pretended that the burn didn’t find a way to his cheeks as he ran inside again, after noticing he forgot to pay Chanwoo for the coffees.

Junhwe bit the inside of his cheek to contain a smile as he rapidly turned his head back to his laptop to avoid more eye contact with Jiwon for the day.

\---

Saying Junhwe tried a few outfits before lunch on Wednesday was a clear understatement. He went through all varieties of colors, textures and styles, leaving it all to his best friends to decide one out of the three outfits he thought worked better.

He also played dumb to pretend he didn’t realize Chanwoo and Hyuna saw right through his excuse of just wanting to look professional in a lunch meeting. And that’s why instead of a blazer, they chose a blue button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black skinny jeans.

His hair remained untouched because, according to Hyuna, it would end up like that in the assistant’s bed anyways, so _why bother?_ As Junhwe was giving up on the idea and getting ready to style it, Chanwoo suggested he shouldn’t look like he was trying too hard.

As someone with a big personality, Junhwe sure _loved_ being told what to do.

Despite the trouble, though, the whole package did get a small smirk out of Jiwon’s face as soon as he arrived at the restaurant, who beckoned Junhwe towards the table with a hand gesture, so he considered the whole adventure a win.

He also considered that very worthy, because instead of talking about boring literature things, the awkward small talk only lasted a few minutes and he was having the most fun he had in months.

First of all, the restaurant was lovely, built around an old tree in order to preserve it. The natural garden around the centerpiece merged with the nature sounds playing on the inside part of the building, in a very organic transition that kept Junhwe looking for the perfect metaphor to describe it.

In addition, the beautiful view was accompanied by many chandeliers, that did an incredible job of illuminating the cherry on top — or the apple on top of the three, the bee on top of the flower, whatever — of this whole situation: Jiwon, who with just a plain v neck managed to look incredible.

Even the food that should be an afterthought, outshined by the beautiful scenario, was just about everything Junhwe liked.

“How do you even know this place?” Junhwe inquired after another bite of his salad, thanking God for inventing the cherry tomato.

“My friend actually designed this restaurant,” Jiwon replied, looking around. “He was the only one who gave the idea of preserving the nature instead of destroying it, so they picked his idea.”

Even his friends were incredible people. Junhwe wished that Jiwon thought of him as able to fit his social circle.

Junhwe only realized the business meeting was taking another turn to a very different place when he found himself asking, without any pressure, about Jiwon’s life.

“I actually prefer working backstage,” he answered after the writer brought up is career path. “I have a blog where I post my short stories, but that’s all I like to do. I value more the technical parts of writing.”

“So don’t you ever get inspired by everyday things?”

“I thought that was a poet’s job, not mine.” Jiwon teased in all seriousness. He quickly lost the façade, however, when Junhwe looked up slightly worried and their eyes met for long enough to steal a laugh out of both. “How about you, why did you agree to all of this?”

Junhwe took a sip of his wine as he thought about what made him fall into this trap.

“I think I thought it would be easier than it actually is,” he sighed, “poetry can get pretentious after a while.”

Jiwon hummed in acknowledgement. “So you wanted to be approachable?”

“Exactly!” Junhwe put his hands up dramatically, glad after finally being understood.

The assistant put down his glass of wine, the wind painting a smile on his face and wiping it off right after, leaving him with a memory he was about to share.

“I remember this one time in college where I had this project and I really wanted to impress this guy who liked poetry too, so instead of my usual chronicles, I wrote a poem,” Jiwon started and Junhwe high fived himself in his brain for the fact that the assistant wasn’t straight. “And as you know, in creative writing people in class analyze your works and give you criticism. He was the one who tore down my poem. He straight up hated it. After that I started sticking with what I know.”

Even if Jiwon ended his story with a laugh, Junhwe swore he could see a hint of bitterness behind it. So when he furrowed his eyebrows instead of following with a smile, Jiwon cut right in front of him in the line of turn to speak.

“Oh no, it’s fine, don’t worry!” Jiwon smiled reassuringly. “All I’m saying is that you’re brave for trying and still accepting this. It’s a good thing!”

Jiwon’s smile was contagious, and Junhwe was only strong to a certain point, so he didn’t resist this time and mimicked him.

“In the end I found someone who liked chronicles, so it was all fine during college,” Jiwon concluded.

After the declaration Junhwe was kind of glad he didn’t spend time styling his hair in the morning. It wasn’t that he felt disappointed, he just met the guy for God’s sake, but he did feel like his hopes of having hopes in the future were gone.

He wasn’t about to let that show, though.

“That’s nice!” Junhwe added with serious enthusiasm, because his empathy always spoke higher volumes. “And since when you’re two together?”

Jiwon pursed his lips in a thin line, wincing almost apologetically to kill Junhwe’s spirit and consequently, the good energy of the conversation they were having.

“Oh, we’re not together anymore, but we’re still friends!” H confided with a smile, “After we broke up was when I started reading your poetry, so maybe we were destined to work together.”

Junhwe felt the blood run through his veins again, hit with a sudden burst of proudness in his chest. It was always good to hear about his writing, especially if it came in such a charming sentence.

“And was it of any help?” he crossed his fingers under the table and hoped for the best.

Jiwon nodded and Junhwe smiled as his heart filled with warmth.

“Your work is incredible, seriously. It cured my broken heart and helped me getting back to work. That and watching ‘He’s just not that into you’ several times.”

Junhwe was glad for the laughter that covered the sound of his heart beating fast, as he felt immensely great for being such a positive influence on Jiwon’s life even before they met.

The assistant was about to help him in a way of returning a favor, and the situation made him eager to write more healing poetry. He couldn’t help but to associate their relationship to a mutualistic one, only it happened in the creative, emotional field, as if hummingbirds and flowers could talk.

When their plates were empty and Jiwon was done satisfying his sugary needs with dessert as Junhwe finished his glass of wine, they realized not a single progress was made in order to finish the book.

“This is great, you know?” Jiwon mentioned and attracted Junhwe’s curious gaze towards him. “Working like this… It’s better than business meetings or just editing at home. I never thought my job could get better, but here we are.”

Fighting a blush was a lost battle for Junhwe at this point.

“You don’t do this often?” He tried to play it cool as his heart started racing.

The writer had a vague idea that this whole situation was something exceptional from the moment his publisher mentioned they would go an extra mile for him, but he had no idea how things usually worked for the editors. All he knew was that Jiwon liked the environment, but he liked this even better.

“Not really…  I usually meet the writers once or twice because I’m always on a lot of deadlines,” Jiwon explained and kept going as soon as he noticed the worry on Junhwe’s face, too afraid of being a bother, “I only agreed to this because it was you, to be honest.”

Junhwe hated himself for being unable to tell flirting and general work compliments apart, because since his work was literally his heart poured out, the lines did get a little blurred for him, opening up the gates for his mind to wander freely.

 “Why me?” sounded pathetic, but it was the only question that came out of Junhwe’s mouth.

 “I’ve always loved your work,” Jiwon revealed as if his words weren’t about to make Junhwe melt, “I was so intrigued about how someone that writes about love could be so dumb when it came to actual romance.”

Junhwe laughed out loud and Jiwon followed him, allowing Junhwe to feel confident even if they were getting everyone’s attention at the restaurant.

“I’m here to learn,” Junhwe shrugged.

Jiwon licked his lips and smiled sheepishly. “I hope I can be a good teacher.”

\---

As soon as Jiwon returned from his trip, he e-mailed Junhwe to schedule two meetings in the same week, so they could rush after procrastinating last Wednesday during lunch.

Their first encounter was a lot more technical and business-like, with Jiwon going through new drafts and pointing out where every character could have more depth, guiding Junhwe through the wonders of texturizing his novels.

However, work didn’t stop the two of them from talking about life in general.

Junhwe found out Jiwon was allergic to cats, took care of his 4 year old nephew every Friday night because he loved kids — finally allowing him to understand why Jiwon’s lockscreen was a picture of a baby — and that he lived by himself, but had a very nice old lady living across the corridor that loved him and gave him food all the time.

Every single story Jiwon told Junhwe about his life was able to make the writer even more enchanted, thinking all the details were fitting with the personality he struggled to accept the editor had at first glance.

Jiwon was caring, captivating, warm… He loved kids, was very charming and had an adorable bunny smile. Basically, he was everything Junhwe wasn’t, which made him even more interesting in Junhwe’s eyes.

Junhwe felt as if the clouds on his mind were finally dissipating, allowing sunshine to reach the blue irises that were still a bit shy to come out.

In return, the writer shared stories about the dumbest things that ever inspired him, even revealing the secret that one of his saddest poems was written after he watched E.T. by himself, which got tears out of Jiwon’s eyes after he laughed so much.

Junhwe also talked about Bbangdaengie, showing Jiwon a bunch of pictures and videos of the puppy, no shame in acting just like every dog owner did because it made Jiwon smile so broadly that Junhwe felt the urge to pinch his cheeks.

Time went by slowly before their second meeting, which was an odd feeling when Junwhe was living against deadlines, but at the same time very common whenever he was excited to do something — or see someone.

Junhwe walked into the cafeteria to the sight of Chanwoo and Jiwon engaged in a deep conversation, which should be worrying, but actually got a smile out of him.

As their work was finding its shape, Junhwe got praised for having a more romantic draft that time, encapsulating the whole introduction to the soulmate universe he created — and Jiwon polished — in the most romantic and bitter way words allowed him.

He was also able to add poetry to his first chapter, painting every feeling and every touch with a metaphor about nature, an analogy regarding the universe, all connected to build the biggest antithesis that grounded his book.

It was safe to say Junhwe’s fears of losing his autonomy were completely vanished, leaving behind just the gratitude of being helped.

Jiwon’s habits were also keeping a part of Junhwe’s brain very busy, as he learned how to distinguish his serious work questions from the mundane questions, because the assistant had the work method of making Junhwe understand his book through real life experiences, even if he had almost none to begin with.

So, for example, when he asked Junhwe about butterflies, his focus was actually on how their wings must feel inside someone’s stomach, and not if Junhwe thought they were the grossest bugs in the world.

“Sorry I’m so slow at this whole romantic thing, I promise I’m better in real life,” Junhwe apologized as Jiwon laughed at his answer.

“Don’t worry,” he reasoned without really looking at Junhwe, “I think it’s cute.”

Junhwe had to take a sip of his milkshake to avoid having his face split in two from grinning so big at the subtle compliment. And if someone asked him about the red creeping up his neck, as if hibiscus were growing from his ribcage, he would blame it on the hot weather.

(The hasty spring kept him from noticing that Jiwon was totally captivated by his reaction, in the same way a hummingbird is attracted to anything bright-colored and sweet).

Jiwon cleared his throat, quickly changing subjects before he got embarrassed too. “I’m confident in your first chapter, but I won’t be the one revising it, so finish the changes you believe in and you can send it tonight.”

Junhwe thanked his assistant for the hundredth time that afternoon and started closing all the tabs on his laptop, preparing to end their meeting. Jiwon scribbled some words on his notebook before closing it dramatically as Junhwe got up to leave, and stood up with him.

“I think I should have your number,” Jiwon said nonchalantly, as if his words didn’t make everything inside Junhwe shift. “I’ll be busy the whole week revising and editing, so it’ll be easier to just text you when I’m free again.”

The excuse wasn’t so convincing, considering the fact that e-mails would work just fine, and Junhwe bit his tongue before bringing it up and missing the opportunity of having Jiwon’s number on his phone. The fact that Jiwon was lying just to get his number made the situation even more endearing.

He was also glad he wasn’t having bubble tea this time, or else he would have choked on a pearl again.

The assistant unlocked his phone and handed it over Junhwe, who would be lying if he said he wasn’t shaking lightly, but still managed to type in his number and put a sunglasses emoji and a book emoji after his contact name.

“Now hurry, your cute face won’t save you from another deadline miss this time,” Jiwon demanded, dismissing Junhwe with a wave after he grabbed his wallet.

Junhwe’s heart fluttered.

He wasn’t sure where his laughter was coming from, if it was embarrassment or thankfulness, never being good with compliments. He didn’t know if he should let Jiwon know he noticed it or just let it pass, optioning for the later because he wanted to go home as soon as he could to scream on his pillow.

“I’ll let you know how everything goes!” Junhwe screamed from the door, opening it with his shoulder as he tried to wave Jiwon goodbye.

Everything about the man was way too much.

And Junhwe wasn’t even two blocks out when his phone vibrated in his pocket, indicating he had a new text.

 

**Jiwon, 03:22 p.m.**

Say hi to Bbangdaengie for me.  
It’s Jiwon, by the way.  
Get home safe.

 

Junhwe let out a very girly scream, thankful that no one was around him. He had never felt so lucky in his life.

He needed to call his best friend.

\---

After getting home and e-mailing his draft to the publisher, Junhwe headed out to the supermarket to grab some beer and clean the house, texting his best friend to come over tomorrow to have a sleepover just like they used to in high school.

He knew his friend just got offered a new job, which was great, and he wanted to talk about his book and well, about Jiwon.

He wanted to talk about Jiwon all day long.

Not that Junhwe had a crush on the guy: this was _different_. He was just excited to work with the assistant, impressed about the fact that the guy brought up the best in him, artistically speaking, in just a few meetings that lasted not longer than an hour.

Jiwon was a genius, and Junhwe was intrigued by it. That’s all, very simple.

His next day was spent with house cleaning and doing chores, with a hint of checking his e-mail every twenty minutes to see if the publisher had already replied to him. They told Junhwe he would be a priority, and he was starting to get impatient with anticipation.

He knew Jiwon believed in his work, after being reassured so many times, but he couldn’t possibly know if other editors would believe in his book too. Jiwon had been nice, but also very direct in his corrections, so he couldn’t possibly be sugarcoating the entire experience.

As Junhwe thought about calling someone or sending another e-mail reiterating his request, he suddenly felt as the rose in Le Petit Prince’s planet, too demanding and naïve in his expectations. The reminder of the character’s traits was enough to make him focus back on his tasks, too afraid to push people away.

Two hours later after Junhwe last allowed his mind to wander in nervousness, Hyuna managed to ring the doorbell at the same time Junhwe’s phone ringed with a new e-mail from the publishers. He opened the door while reading his awaited response, eyes shining as he spotted the words “accepted”, “great writing”, “waiting for more”.

“They accepted my chapter!” he greeted his friend, his mouth open in a disbelief that quickly turned into full-blown happiness, the energy making Junhwe hug the girl and start jumping.

“Well, hello to you too,” Hyuna replied, voice muffled by Junhwe’s embrace. “Congrats!”

He let go of her as soon as she complained about being suffocated, closing the door in a hurry and running to the kitchen to grab two beer bottles, almost tripping over a half-awake Bbangdaengie on his way back to the living room.

“I need to tell Jiwon!” Junhwe remembered and ran back to the kitchen to find his phone, the adrenaline still kicking in. “I said I was going to tell him, I need to do it right now!”

He found his phone on the counter, grabbing it and walking from left to right in the kitchen area as he typed and deleted every sentence he wrote.

The writer also hated the idea of an open concept kitchen the second he heard Hyuna laughing at him, and realized she could see him thinking too hard about what he should text the assistant.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so excited to work with someone,” his friend said from the couch after taking a sip of her beer, watching Junhwe trying to come up for an excuse to why he was so nervous.

Junhwe rolled his eyes and smiled, resuming his task of telling Jiwon the news.

 

**Junhwe, 03:17 a.m.**

The first chapter made it! Finally!  
Thank you for the help!  
Couldn’t have done it without you xxx

 

He locked his phone and shoved it on his pocket after sending the last text, not wanting to overthink his decision, nervous it would maybe be a reach.

“You see, my dear,” Junhwe started as he made his way to join the girl, beer on one hand and puppy on the other, “it’s all because I never worked with someone who could actually help me.”

Hyuna raised her beer to make a toast, to which Junhwe complied. They sat down facing each other with Bbangdaeng, the Maltese, between their legs getting ready to curl up in a little ball of fur as her paws tapped against the leather surface.

Junhwe stole his favorite cushion from Hyuna’s embrace and got comfortable in his place.

“How is he like, is he cute?” she raised her eyebrows suggestively, covering a shit-eating grin behind a sip of her beer.

Junhwe tried to contain a smile. “He is easy to talk to, I like that, but it’s also all I can say about him.”

To be honest, Junhwe thought Jiwon was cute from the beginning, he just didn’t allow his mind to wander any further than that considering they worked together and it felt wrong to trespass the great business relationship they had.

Also, he knew that the assistant wouldn’t be interested in the person whose picture followed the definition of romantic illiterate in every dictionary. He seemed interest in more than whatever Junhwe had to offer, and he wanted to avoid the entire disappointment that would certainly follow anything he tried.

So he just admired Jiwon’s beauty, and wrote about his features occasionally. Other than that, he was in tune with the little he felt, and only on the times uninvited ideas creeped through the branches on the distant part of his mind.

Bbangdaengie barked at the sudden cooing coming from Hyuna’s side of the cushion, and the girl picked her up to calm her down, putting the puppy on her lap and looking soft at the same time she looked scary.

“Isn’t this how everything starts, though?” she looked up dreamingly and let her mind wander. “You think he’s easy to talk to, you guys talk a lot, fall in love…”

Junhwe let out a bewildered interjection to interrupt any daydreaming that might make him embarrassed to talk to Jiwon again.

“I just want you to be with someone, you know that. I’m older than you and I have great advice,” she affirmed with her most soothing voice, the one Junhwe grew very fond of when they became friends. “I was the one that saved you in high school and got a bunch of seniors to go out with you. I’m always right.”

“You only managed that because you had the whole school at your feet,” Junhwe scoffed. “ _And_ because you wanted to date my sister.”

Hyuna rolled her eyes at that, a habit she picked up from the very man in front of her.

“That’s not the point! I mean yes I wanted to date her and yes we did make out once before she left to study abroad but all I’m saying is that you seem kind of excited when you talk about this Jiwon guy so why not?” Hyuna leaned forward, arm on the back of the couch to give her leverage.

Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but she seemed more convincing than usual.

“I’m not in love with him, darling, that’s the problem!” Junhwe tried to argue, already looking for a way out of this conversation that would lead nowhere.

“Who said you need to be? Do you even know how human relationships work?” His best friend pleaded. “You just need to try! I want to see you blossoming!”

At that very moment, Junhwe’s phone vibrated in his pocket, indicating he had received a new text. He held a finger up to pause the conversation and put his bottle of beer on the center table when the name on the screen got him smiling.

 

**Jiwon, 11:17pm.**

Congrats, man! Knew you could do it!  
Hope we can keep writing good things.  
See ya x

 

 “And who’s that smile for?” Hyuna smirked, already knowing the answer like she always did.

Junhwe took a deep breath (both to pretend he was annoyed and also to calm his fast beating heart) and crossed his arms, reluctant to admit his friend was right. When nothing was said, Hyuna simply raised her eyebrows to indicate she wouldn’t let this go.

“Fine, I’ll try.” He whined in defeat, but also glad someone was forcing him to do what he already wanted to.

He threw himself back on the couch dramatically, earning a laugh and a kick from his friend.

Once again, Hyuna won. Older best friends always knew better.

\---

“First of all, can you tell me a few romantic gestures you think your characters should go through in your book?” Jiwon asked as he started the notes for the day on his notebook.

It was a Saturday afternoon this time, their schedule set with a text from Jiwon after he finished his work and much more casual than it usually was. As the summer approached, instead of coffee mugs, a milkshake and an iced bubble tea took place on their table alongside their usual pens and paper.

“I want their romance to be quiet, as you already know. So maybe they should start with hand holding,” Junhwe took a sip of his tea, nearly choking on a pearl as he tried to act cool.

“And how would you write that?” Jiwon looked up holding back a laugh, but doing that thing where he looked so interested in the answer that made Junhwe less nervous since the beginning.

“Well… I would say they found each other’s hands by accident under the table, and that they were surprised about how good it felt.” Junhwe tried still unsure, already knowing his answer wouldn’t be enough for the book.

“Just that?” Jiwon asked confused.

“Just that.” Junhwe laughed nervously.

The older man thought for a second before extending his hand across the table, the sound of his watch scrapping against the wooden surface loud enough amidst the complete silence that surrounded the sudden serious situation. Jiwon held his hand up, palm facing Junhwe, who furrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side.

“Hold my hand,” Jiwon coaxed at the lack of Junhwe’s response to his gesture. “Come on, help me to do my work.”

Junhwe looked around, a little bit skeptical before accepting the offer, afraid his voice wouldn’t sound convincing when he tried to deny the human contact out of pure politeness.

Before even moving, he realized what Jiwon meant when he mentioned casually that Junhwe should experience things, because he was feeling as if butterflies were flying on his veins —which was incredibly fitting, for every day seemed like spring when the assistant was around.

He let the flight of butterflies move his hand slowly towards Jiwon’s, sliding his arm down the table until his palm was completely embraced by the warmth that radiated from the assistant’s hand. It was indeed a hot, sunny day, but the other man still managed to be almost magnetic in his glow.

Junhwe even allowed himself the luxury of staying still for a millisecond — the taste of longing incredibly sweet somewhere inside him — as he tried to understand why he was so feeling so nervous doing something so trivial.

(Hint: the shining smile on Jiwon’s face was both his answer and his question).

He couldn’t fight his need any longer, intertwining his fingers with the other man’s and finally holding his hand the way it should have always been in his head, with his fingers tingling and every sensation pooled on his wrist as the butterflies stopped there.

It fit, but Junhwe wouldn’t allow himself to melt slowly on the idea so fast.

“Now tell me, what do you feel?” Jiwon asked, looking up in all his near-sighted, round-glassed framed-eyes glory.

A tiny click happened at the back of his brain — louder than it the usual click he got from hearing Jiwon’s voice, noticeable only by the iteration and not by the singularity — and he suddenly knew where this was going.

The visuals were completely nailed, and if Junhwe had to be honest, he was sure he wouldn’t forget the scene so early. The rest, however, still needed to be enhanced to be absorbed and translated into words.

Not that the man wasn’t feeling it. He was, in every inch of his body, but writing went beyond that. He needed to savor it before writing.

So as cheesy as it was, Junhwe closed his eyes to focus on every other sensation.

If this was poetry (which it was, it surely was, nothing else could be poetry more than this very moment), Junhwe would say he felt as he was finally able to understand flowers, for the way they relied on hummingbirds due to the fact that the buzzing in his ears reminded him of the bird’s wings and how it made him oh so happy.

However, the object of his studies was other; he also realized that he needed concrete sensations to back that up and buy him more time. So he spoke.

“I feel warm. I feel the texture of your fingers, the sweat in your palms, which surprisingly doesn’t gross me out, I feel every single one of your rings, and maybe deep down I want to know what brand of moisturizer you use.” He took his time to describe the feelings, the smile that radiated from the other side of the table louder than usual. “My wrist feels incredibly sensitive with all the butterflies inside”.

Junhwe left out how he also felt Jiwon’s thumb caressing his skin lightly, not wanting him to stop after he realized what he was doing.

As the moment dragged itself in time and Junhwe allowed himself to imagine how everything looked from outside, he couldn’t help but feeling glad Chanwoo didn’t work on weekends. He was, however, able to hear Donghyuk whistling behind the counter, thinking the new guy was finally getting brave, but still liking him all the same.

“And shouldn’t your characters be able to feel all of those things too?” Jiwon offered with a smile that, as soon as Junhwe could hear it, made him open his eyes to allow himself to enjoy the sight.

To that, the writer nodded, his brain going a hundred miles per hour in his task of grasping every single sensation before they ran away from him — as most good things usually did —, even if Jiwon’s fingers that still strongly encaged Junhwe’s hands next to his, made him feel physically able to accomplish his metaphor.

As for the mental notes that took place in his mind in the form of post-it notes sticking on every idea that showed up as a flower blooming in the speed of light, they almost made him miss the way Jiwon’s touch lingered for a minute longer than necessary.

Almost.

So in more than just one way, Junhwe could feel himself starting to figure out how everything worked.

\---

**Junhwe, 11:23 p.m.**

[Sent a picture]

 

**Jiwon, 11:25 p.m.**

Junhwe.  
Why is your dog purple.

**Junhwe, 11:25 p.m.**

I may or may not have spilled wine over her  
She’s clean tho  
Just purple

 

**Jiwon, 11:26 p.m.**

You won’t believe but  
I had purple hair in college  
Terrible I know

**Junhwe, 11:27 p.m.**

WHAT  
Pics or it didn’t happen

 

**Jiwon, 11:31 p.m.**

[Sent a picture]  
Sorry for the terrible t-shirt

**Junhwe, 11:31 p.m.**

SHUT UP  
SHUT UPPPPP  
YOU LOOKED GREAT  
You know  
I would totally have a crush on you in college

 

**Jiwon, 11:33 p.m.**

And not right now?

**Junhwe, 11:35 p.m.**

Oh my God  
Go to sleep, Jiwon

 

**Jiwon, 11:36 p.m.**

Hahahah  
Sleep well

**Junhwe, 11:46 p.m.**

Have nice dreams  
xxxxx

 

\---

“What’s the problem?” Jiwon looked up from his laptop, glasses on the end of his nose and looking like a total dork, which made Junhwe’s mood shift from frustrated to soft.

The assistant was working across the table from Junhwe, and this was much more than a casual meeting than a book meeting, the two men focused on their own tasks instead of only talking about Junhwe’s novel.

“I can’t write this,” Junhwe whined. “It’s starting to get chilly and he’s caressing her arm before they separate. It’s a light touch, but it’s all I got and I don’t want to go full poet now.”

Jiwon nodded and leaned forward, moving their mugs to the side and giving him enough space to reach Junhwe’s arm and start caressing it with the tip of his fingers.

“Do you mean like this?” Jiwon whispered his question and Junhwe could truly feel the chilly dusk air even if they were inside the coffee shop.                                

The writer nodded and Jiwon kept moving his fingers up and down his forearm, with a feather-like touch that was enough of a comparison to inspire the latter on his descriptions.

Junhwe noticed that the assistant was careful with his touch, probably thinking Junhwe was made of very delicate petals that should be protected. Ironically, even after being handled with care, the contact left his skin burning, ardent as if he was being taken apart — and in a certain way, he really was — which, combined with Jiwon’s attention, made him feel like a forget-me-not.

And he wouldn’t. Forget him, that was.

In response to the touch and affection, Junhwe had leaned forward too, as far as his laptop allowed, naturally growing towards the light. They were caught up in a trance, enjoying each other that the younger man was surprised he was still able to create his mental notes, each for every one of his petals.

Jiwon made it as far as reaching Junhwe’s neck, bringing his caress up to Junhwe’s nape, too sensitive of a place that gave Junhwe goosebumps. A shiver followed right after and damn, who knew a single touch could make someone feel so much.

Junhwe’s one night stands were _nothing_ if compared to this.

A minute or so passed by, no one could tell, and the writer managed to be efficient in his task of stealing one last touch before the spell was broken, leaning against Jiwon’s hand and resting his head on his palm, eyes closed to enjoy the sensation.

Soon enough, evil took form on a tall guy behind the counter, dressed in a burgundy apron and surrounded by clumsiness, who dropped an empty cake pan on the floor, making a loud metal sound that scared everyone in the coffee shop.

Jiwon jumped on his seat, hand leaving Junhwe’s cheek in order to prevent his phone from falling off his lap, the writer moving back to his original position leaned back in his chair.

“I’m sorry!” Donghyuk yelled to the costumers, leaning down to clean his mess.

Nothing else was said, but there was no need. Different from Junhwe’s chapter, the moment was didn’t require words to finish it.

Junhwe felt like he could write a hundred chapters out of the past minutes, stocking an entire poetry archive with ideas. Not only for work, but also for life.

\---

**Jiwon, 05:30 p.m.**

Hey, Junhwe  
Do you wanna go out for dinner tomorrow?  
I can’t see you in the afternoon  
I’m drowning in deadlines [crying emoji]

 

**Junhwe, 05:39 p.m.**

Fine by me!  
You can pick the restaurant again  
I trust you

 

**Jiwon, 05:41 p.m.**

Great!  
Text you the address later xx  
Can’t wait to see ya

\---

**Junhwe, 05:35 p.m.**

Chanwoo  
Jiwon asked for us to meet for dinner tomorrow  
Help

 

**Chanwoo, 05:35 p.m.**

lmao this is a date  
you know that right

 

**Junhwe, 05:35 p.m.**

It’s not!  
Is it?  
What do I say?

**Chanwoo, 05:36 p.m.**

say yes loser  
don’t say loser  
just say “yes”  
the loser is you

\---

With Chanwoo and Hyuna’s advice still fresh on his head — and on his bed, coming out as a series of unsolicited advice texts —, Junhwe tried his hard to impress Jiwon without actually looking like he spent hours in front of the mirror.

He chose his favorite sharp navy blue shirt, sleeves rolled up as the weather asked for it, paired with black jeans — the tight ones that Hyuna always complimented his ass on — and black shoes. His hair was side parted and slicked back, as Chanwoo suggested, and he was ready.

The restaurant wasn’t far away from his house, but he still called a cab to avoid being late or showing up sweaty and ruining his work of hours.

Thinking about the possibility of this being a date made every single thing inside Junhwe shift. He knew it wasn’t, that they were still going to focus on business, but it felt very difficult to not get giddy at the thoughts when his phone vibrated in his pocket, indicating he had a text from Jiwon.

 

**Jiwon, 8:02 p.m.**

Already here  
Looking like a loser by myself  
Gonna order wine

 

Junhwe was fucked.

He walked into the restaurant, finding the assistant in a heartbeat, talking to a waiter and smiling up at him as he got Jiwon’s orders.

The writer felt a chill run down his spine, spreading through his body like vines reaching his heart and giving it a squeeze.

Jiwon was dressed in a black shirt, the top two buttons opened to reveal a slim and discrete necklace, combined with dark blue jeans. Instead of his usual glasses he was wearing new, more sophisticated ones, that gave him a more serious look and Junhwe swore he felt his knees going weak at the sight.

He reached the table before he even realized, walking towards Jiwon as if he was compelled (which he partly was, if he had to be honest).

Jiwon greeted him with a quick hug, allowing Junhwe to notice the other man’s perfume, the aroma fitting for someone who hanged around flowers, even if they were just metaphorical.

And what started with the book and the newest chapters soon turned into a conversation about life and stories because, as Junhwe had already learned, talking to Jiwon was easy.

Even if the topic changed to a journey to discover why Junhwe was so bad with romance.

“Oh, I think it’s because I’ve never been in a relationship,” Junhwe shared between sips of wine, “I only made out with jocks in high school thanks to my best friend, and then a few one night stands after that.”

He felt weird to share that, he was indeed a very reserved person and this all seemed to personal, but he also wanted Jiwon to know about his life considering he was a constant part of it now.

Jiwon snorted. “Jocks don’t really seem like your type.”

“They’re not, but apparently all of them were into emo boys,” Junhwe smiled to match the assistant’s most endearing expression. “I guess all the eyeliner made me look more feminine for them.”

Junhwe was certain he could keep doing this forever. Making Jiwon laugh was becoming one of his favorite activities, because he was sure no other person looked as bright as the other man when they were smiling.

Also, it was such an easy task. It seemed like anything Junhwe said was enough to make Jiwon’s eyes turn into crescents, to make his slightly crooked — and very adorable — teeth visible, to turn his cheeks red and let such pleasant noises leave his mouth.

The amount of times he made the assistant smile gave him enough opportunities to memorize his features, and he wanted the assistant to come to him whenever he needed to get his life sweeter.

Junhwe didn’t understand how something so simple and natural could be so rewarding.

“It was clearly your option, right? To never have dated,” Jiwon’s voice snapped Junhwe out of the garden in his mind.

“What do you mean?” Junhwe tilted his head to the side and frowned.

“I mean…” Jiwon fixed his glasses, probably trying to hide that he was about to become a few shades redder, “People clearly want to date you.”

“Do they?” Junhwe licked his lips. “I can’t see that at all.”

He was only half playing dumb. The other half was pure curiosity.

And he also didn’t know if he would be able to hear Jiwon’s answer, the pit-a-pat of his heart against his ribcage way too loud, as if it was trying to be set free.

 “Guess I should try harder, then,” Jiwon teased.

Junhwe imagined it was at least amusing for Jiwon to see him getting so red, as he noticed the assistant holding back a smirk while Junhwe could only laugh at the answer and pretend he wasn’t about to die at that very moment.

“You shouldn’t say things like that,” Junhwe shook his head dismissively, taking a big sip of his wine.

Jiwon smiled big, completely enjoying himself at Junhwe’s expense.

“Why not? It’s fun to see you blush,” he replied, always too quick to find an answer. Was Junhwe really that predictable?

Junhwe groaned and lowered his head, hiding it behind his hands as he became too shy to look at Jiwon, who was laughing at the other side of the table.

The writer wanted to say something, to mention Jiwon was also blushing, to be flirty with him too, but he had no idea how to do that. But for the first time, he didn’t feel bad about it at all. Jiwon was aware of it since day one and he still stuck around. Apparently, that’s what Jiwon liked about him.

Junhwe had never felt so good about himself.

And as soon as he managed to calm his heart down, to control the butterflies in his stomach and to dissipate the pool of emotions he felt on his wrists, Junhwe looked up to meet Jiwon’s peaceful gaze still on him. He was kind enough to change the atmosphere of the conversation, asking Junhwe about getting a dessert, but nothing was enough to make Junwhe forget that moment.

He needed to write everything he felt.

\---

“You mentioned you live nearby,” Jiwon started nonchalantly as they walked out of the restaurant, shoving his hands in his pockets. “May I walk you home?”

It was a beautiful night, the chilly breeze enough to remind them spring was still around, framed by the flowers that took place in every tree and every bush. Junhwe’s hand itched to write poetry once he realized how inspiring the whole scenario was, and how that was exactly what he was looking for on his next book.

“If it’s not too much trouble,” he smiled.

“It won’t be at all.”

Junhwe led the way, walking side by side with Jiwon, close enough to have their arms brushing every now and then. The physical contact was constantly sending vibrations through Junhwe’s body, going from his arm to his heart, and he felt like a _mimosa pudica_ , the only sensitive to touch flower he could remember.

He was content, certain that Hyuna and Chanwoo were right about this whole situation and glad he hadn’t pushed Jiwon away, but still too self-aware and afraid to take initiative, uncertain of what was right. Deep into the forest of his head he knew that Jiwon wouldn’t reject him, but the idea could only be a myth too.

Jiwon was sharing his opinions, and the writer wasn’t really paying attention, choosing to absorb the warmth that radiated from Jiwon’s presence and the melodic sound of his voice instead, when the assistant stopped his monologue out of nowhere and Junhwe lost the sight of Jiwon’s profile next to him.

Junhwe stopped on his tracks by his side. “What are you looking at?”

He followed Jiwon’s eyes that were staring at a random house, reluctant in his task of diverting his gaze from the other man’s sharp jawline and beautiful mouth.

“Look at those red carnations!” Jiwon announced. “I need some.”

To see Jiwon so captivated by flowers made Junhwe feel even more special somehow.

“It’s too late, though,” he expressed his concern, “the lights are all out, you can’t ask for— Jiwon, what are you doing?”

The older man moved towards the short fence, examining it and completely ignoring Junhwe’s worries as he started to climb it.  Before Junhwe could do something Jiwon was already inside, landing with a soft thump on the grass.

Jiwon turned to give him two thumbs up, smiling brightly and leaving Junhwe out of options except look around and take care of the perimeter, in total exasperation.  

“You can’t do that,” Junhwe hissed. “Get out!”

Jiwon just shushed the writer, before turning his attention back to the flowers. He was able to pick two of them before a light went on inside the house and both men heard a woman yell that someone was in her garden.

 _We’re going to jail, we’re definitely going to jail_ was the only thought in Junhwe’s mind, even if he knew better than that. He let the adrenaline take care of his actions, running towards the fence to help Jiwon jump back to the sidewalk, hands traveling from the assistant’s thighs to his waist, giving him leverage until he touched the floor.

Junhwe wished he had done this in another circumstance, where things didn’t need to be so rushed so he could take his time exploring Jiwon’s body.

But this clearly wasn’t the time.

They heard the front door unlocking and Jiwon took Junhwe’s wrist in his hand, pulling him down the street while he held two carnations in the other.

The path towards Junhwe’s home was long forgotten as they took turns, and Junhwe knew that he would follow Jiwon anywhere like this. He wanted to write about freedom, spring nights and the scent of flowers at the tail end of a breeze.

To be honest, all of Jiwon’s actions were inspiring.

After a few minutes they found themselves in a park, only stopping when they reached a dead end in the form of a flower wall.

The sound of their steps on the sidewalk was replaced by heavy breathing as the two of them tried to bring air back into their lungs, mixed with the sound of crickets and maybe, if Junhwe could concentrate, the wings of the thousand butterflies flying around on his stomach.

And then, Jiwon started laughing. He started laughing loudly, until tears formed on the corner of his eyes, and Junhwe felt as if nothing ever made him happier in his life. He couldn’t help but follow him, because Jiwon’s happiness was contagious.

“Oh my god,” Jiwon wiped a tear away, “That was so stupid!”

Junhwe hit him in the shoulder with his free hand. “This is all your fault for being so loud! What were you thinking?”

He knew the worry in his voice was covered by his laughter, just like the usual worries in his mind were covered by the happiness in his heart.  

Maybe Jiwon was growing roots in his ribcage, and he didn’t know if he had enough space for all the feelings he was having at the moment.

However, adrenaline soon wore off along with their laughs, and it seemed like everything in the atmosphere twisted. They were able to realize how close they actually got, closer than Junhwe ever allowed his body to go with other people, and even the tight grasp of Jiwon’s fingers around his wrists felt good, grounding him before the lightness of the situation made him fly away.

“Tonight was fun.” Jiwon confided, voice lower than usual, traveling its usual path down Junhwe’s spine and around his heart.  

 “It really was,” Junhwe smiled lazily, dreamy eyes studying all of the assistant’s features from up close, “even if we made no actual progress in the book.”

Junhwe bit his tongue and Jiwon chuckled. He knew he shouldn’t have mentioned the book, or anything work related in the situation. This wasn’t a book meeting, but a date, just like Chanwoo mentioned.

It was just that Junhwe couldn’t help but think about writing every time he was around Jiwon. He couldn’t forget how much of a better writer the assistant made him, not only with his technical advices and revising, but with how much the other man inspired him and made him willing to write better words, perfect words, to match how good he was feeling inside.

Even if going out with Jiwon wasn’t officially a book meeting or work related, deep down in his heart it was. Every moment Junhwe spent with him was one, two, ten steps towards putting all textures in romance.

“We can fix that,” Jiwon took a step closer, sliding his hand down to catch Junhwe’s, intertwining their fingers and making electricity run through the writer’s veins. “Have you written the kiss scene yet?”

Junhwe felt his brain short-circuiting.

“Not yet,” his voice came out in a whisper, delicately flying away like pollen in the breeze.

“And how do you want it to be?”

“Jiwon…” he pleaded, almost, eyes half-lidded with desire.

The answer was all Jiwon needed to toss the carnations to the side, moving his hands to Junhwe’s waist to pull him impossibly closer, to which Junhwe complied, arms naturally finding their way to wrap against Jiwon’s neck, steadying himself as he waited to melt in the assistant’s arms.

Instead of going for Junhwe’s lips, Jiwon’s mouth traveled to the writer’s neck.

“Tell me, Junhwe. How do you want it to be?” he mouthed right below Junhwe’s earlobe, giving him goosebumps all over.

Jiwon’s breath was hot, spreading the warmth through Junhwe’s body, making summer arrive earlier. Heat pooled on his waist, his wrists, on the tip of his fingers that were caressing circles in the writer’s hair.

Junhwe closed his eyes and used all of his brain to concentrate on making his voice work.

The writer knew he just could kiss the other man, as simple as that. He knew all he had to do was capture Jiwon’s lips on his own, feel the wine on his mouth, finally allowing himself to chase happiness.

However, he also wanted art to be a part of it, allowing the assistant to guide him like he had been doing for the past months, as if they were in a very slow dance around each other. He was captivated by Jiwon’s lightness, and if possible Junhwe wanted to be lifted too.

“I want it to be intense,” he whispered, closing his eyes as Jiwon took a deep breath, “I want them to find themselves at each other’s lips, I want the meaning to travel through their tongues without a word…” he continued and Jiwon’s hands tightened around Junhwe’s waist,  “I want it to be poetic, vulnerable. I want the devotion of a hummingbird towards a flower. I want… you… Jiwon, I—”

“As you wish,” Jiwon concluded with a shy kiss on Junhwe’s jaw.

And then their lips met.  

This wasn’t Junhwe’s first kiss, but it was the first he had wrapped in so many feelings that went beyond just physical. He felt like spring itself, personified, so many flowers blooming inside him that he didn’t know if he would be able to breathe.

Jiwon’s hands caressed his back, eager to travel through all of his muscles, but still gentle in his touch as he always was.

And as expected, Jiwon tasted of wine and ice cream, all too sweet to match his looks. And not only were his hands curious: his tongue also had its time exploring Junhwe’s mouth, warm and wet, speaking everything Junhwe needed to know without saying a single word.

Junhwe found himself cupping Jiwon’s face, thumbs drawing shy circles on the assistant’s cheeks and fingers lightly scratching his nape.

It took him seconds to realize how intoxicating Jiwon’s kisses could be.

When Jiwon’s mouth left Junhwe’s, his whole body stayed still, pressed against the writer.

“Did you understand it?” he murmured against Junhwe’s lips.

Junhwe shook his head, opening his eyes slightly to capture the sight in front of him: Jiwon’s lips red like roses, his cheeks pink like cherry blossoms, his pupils dilated and dark like black pansies.

“I don’t think I can write about it yet,” he teased with a coy smile.

Jiwon hummed and pecked his lips. “I think I can be clearer.”

Another peck.

And another.

And another.

Until Junhwe started laughing and took the initiative this time, kissing Jiwon deeply yet affectionately, gripping on his arms in his task of feeling every inch of the assistant’s body. Jiwon’s hands found their way to the inside of Junhwe’s shirt, teasing the skin with feather-like touches that still managed to leave patterns on his waist.

Was it even possible to feel his heart beating so fast, reverberating through his whole body, but yet feel so calm that he was on the verge of melting?

Junhwe was about to find out.

\---

Walking home, hand in hand, sharing little, completely dumb laughs for no reason at all felt better than Junhwe could ever write in his life, but still had its share on making him willing to share the feeling with the world, make his readers understand the lightness of infatuation.

Every road cross was a reason to share compliant and blushing glances, every beautiful flower growing on the pavement was a reason to squeeze the other’s hand, every moment of secrecy was a reason to plant a kiss on the other’s cheek.

All that topped with the smell of carnations hanging on Jiwon’s free hand, stolen just like Junhwe’s heart that was being worn on his sleeve.

Silence was only broken when they arrived at Junhwe’s building.

“How convenient,” Jiwon smirked, “I live just three blocks away.”

Junhwe huffed out a laugh, a very common sound for them in the last hour. This was expected, considering they couldn’t be happier.

“I guess I should get inside.” Junhwe started slow, not knowing how to end the night.

Jiwon nodded and stepped forward to give Junhwe another kiss, holding his head along with the carnations, the other fingers too busy still intertwined with the writer’s.

“Take one of these,” Jiwon offered a flower after his mouth was unoccupied.

To say Junhwe was blushing was an understatement, but the gesture, even if it was small, really made him melt inside. He couldn’t believe Jiwon went through all the trouble of stealing them just to share with Junhwe.

Another mental note bloomed in his head, this time to remember to plant carnations not only in his house, but all over his book.

The writer also didn’t know if Jiwon was aware of the meaning behind red carnations, but he was hoping they would be true to both in the future.

“Thank you,” Junhwe replied with a hug, taking his time to fit like a puzzle piece in Jiwon’s arms.

“Has someone ever told you that you smell amazing?” The assistant asked with his mouth against Junhwe’s neck, almost trapping the words between the two of them.

“You have flowers around you and you’re talking about me?”

“You’re better,” Jiwon moved to capture Junhwe’s lips with his own, “sweeter. I might get addicted.”

Junhwe tried to cover his face, only to get interrupted by Jiwon taking a hold of his hand and moving it down. He never met anyone this sweet, every action so smooth that he didn’t know how to react.

It made Junhwe feel like the most special person in the world for the first time in his life. He wanted to write, translate this moment into poetry, immortalize all the tingling sensations Jiwon made run through his body with his magic.

It had to be magic.

“Are you always this smooth? I thought you were captivating at first, but this is on a whole new level,” Junhwe joked, and Jiwon laughed. “I’m being serious!”

“I’m usually not,” Jiwon confessed, a hint of shyness in his words, “but I can’t help it with you.”

Junhwe shook his head in disbelief. He really felt bad for all the other human beings in the world right now, for they weren’t as happy as he was in that moment. He was feeling hopeful, eager, curious, everything related to Jiwon.

“Let’s see how far can you go, then.” Junhwe teased, trying his best to transmit every ounce of anticipation he had.

Jiwon backed him up against the brick wall, staring at his eyes as he was able to read everything, all the poetry Junhwe was writing in his brain. The smile that followed their little stare battle was the indicative the writer needed to realize his art was approved by someone who understood it, both technically and emotionally.

“I’ll go as far as you’ll have me.” Jiwon whispered due to their proximity, not wanting to disturb the darkness and silence that hung around them so late at night.

If every kiss planted on Junhwe’s lips corresponded to a flower that grew inside his brain, it was safe to say Jiwon single handedly brought spring into the writer’s body.

\---

From then on, the following chapters in Junhwe’s book were all filled with love all the way up to the brim. Every single paragraph was showered with hand holding, back hugs — the quickest way to make a person melt —, slow kisses, hurried goodbye pecks, intense and passionate make out sessions and just genuine, utter happiness.

With Jiwon by his side, even the rainy, colder days were appreciated. Every opportunity he had to run three blocks down the street and three floors up the building were valid if he ended up in the arms of his… well, his favorite person, the one that set free the butterflies in the spring that was blooming inside his body — and most precisely, in his heart.

He learned very organically to appreciate every single detail about Jiwon without being suffocated by the endearment. From the assistant’s hands, always eager to meet Junhwe’s skin underneath his shirt, to his lazy morning smiles, ready to put sunshine to shame if compared in brightness, and even his non-sense deep conversations about the universe late at night that suddenly turned into monologues and drifted into lullabies.

Jiwon was in his every word, every rhyme. Book meetings weren’t necessary anymore, considering Junhwe’s life didn’t lack texture anymore, the novel only being brought up when the writer played dumb to feed his soul with cuddles.

“Jiwon,” Junhwe whined from the couch, the laptop’s screen containing a work in progress, “come here, please!”

As soon as Jiwon arrived in the living room, he smirked, already knowing where this whole situation was going. Junhwe always used his book to ask Jiwon to touch him when he was too shy to ask for it directly.

“What?” He asked from behind the armrest, bending to take a look at the screen and caging Junhwe’s face between his arms.

Junhwe lifted his head to look at the older man’s eyes. “I’m writing this scene, right… And they’re supposed to kiss passionately, she’s supposed to make him feel on the edge after making out,” he smiled coyly, “and I sort of need help?”

Jiwon laughed.

“Do you have a short term memory? Did you forget last week when my brother called or?” He teased, enjoying the faint shade of red coloring Junhwe’s cheeks at the memory of himself moaning while Jiwon was on the phone.

“Are you seriously skipping an opportunity to make out with me?” Junhwe protested.

Jiwon’s reply was along the lines of ‘hell no’, but Junhwe couldn’t hear him properly under the sound of his heart thumping in his chest. The assistant moved Junhwe’s laptop to the center table, replacing it in the spot of straddling the writer’s lap, resting his back against his thighs as he admired the scene of the other man’s heavy breath, ready to be unmade in Jiwon’s hands.

Jiwon didn’t waste another second to bend forward, holding Junhwe’s face to capture his wet lips on his own, taking his breath away in a hot, sensual kiss. The younger’s tongue, already familiar with Jiwon’s mouth, still worked its way to pleasure.

Jiwon’s back suddenly became exposed, but Junhwe’s fingers — and nails, occasionally — were quicker than the cold air in the run of claiming the shivers down Jiwon’s spine. That at least until Jiwon became impatient, sitting up straight — and winning a groan out of Junhwe when his ass shifted in his position —  to get rid of his shirt and help Junhwe to do the same.

Junhwe learned to rely purely on feeling, experiencing, and Jiwon allowed him to drown in every sensation. The assistant’s presence was undisputed, and heavy enough to mark Junhwe’s memory with ideas for work. He was imprinted in every aspect of Junhwe’s life.

He had Jiwon’s hands in his hair, pulling in a delicious yet slight torture, his mouth traveling between his own mouth, his jaw and all the way down to his neck, leaving proofs in the form of hickeys, their warm breaths making the air even hotter and humid.

All that as he was teasing the band of Jiwon’s shorts, only stopping in his task of going further down when Jiwon rocked his hips down, making Junhwe roll his eyes back and _moan_.

Jiwon hummed against Junhwe’s mouth, kissing him passionately but frantically, intense in his task of devouring the writer’s heart. He teased Junhwe’s bottom lip between his teeth, biting it as he rolled his hips again, creating friction against the writer’s already hard dick.

“Jiwon…” Junhwe pleaded, his tone asking for nothing in particular, but knowing Jiwon would give him everything in return.

“You know I won’t be able to leave you on the edge, right?” Jiwon’s voice was hoarse already as he traveled down Junhwe’s body, taking his time to tease the younger man’s nipples until he felt satisfied with the pleasant torture. “I want to see your blissed out face, your dark red lips like carnations…”

Junhwe wasn’t even sure he was listening, but he knew that deep inside his brain there was a little hummingbird writing poetry out of this, feeding out of Jiwon’s honey filled words.

He pulled down the poet’s sweatpants along with his boxers, getting rid of the material that separated Junhwe’s arousal from relief. He was already hard himself, but making Junhwe feel good was a priority at that moment.

Anything for Junhwe.

“When I see you like this, underneath me, breath heavy and uneven, I want to write too,” Jiwon ran his tongue up Junhwe’s length, tracing the vein, and the writer squirmed. “I know how you understand poetry so well. You look like one all the time.”

The feeling was definitely new, as Junhwe didn’t know if he was moaning and reacting to Jiwon’s touches or Jiwon’s words. He was too much of a sweet talker in bed, putting all of his poems to shame.

Junhwe’s hands so naturally moved to tug at Jiwon’s hair, alternating between caressing and pulling it at, but never guiding the other man because he knew better, allowing him to be free in the task of making Junhwe feel good.

Jiwon wrapped his lips around the head, teasing the slit until he got too impatient and sank down further, taking Junhwe’s cock completely in his mouth, feeling the weight of Junhwe against his tongue.

He didn’t know how, but the sight of Jiwon with his mouth wrapped around his cock was the most erotic sight he has ever had. The way he looked up every now and then, capturing the only few moments Junhwe was able to keep his eyes open was completely sinful and he was sure someone in heaven liked him very much to make him so lucky.

The moans filled the room, often punctuated by Jiwon’s honey voice spilling compliments here and there. He bobbed his head up and down Junhwe’s length, fisting the base and never forgetting to lightly drag his teeth along Junhwe’s cock just to get a few hisses out of him.

Jiwon pulled up with a pop, giving one last lick at the head get rid of the trail of saliva blended with pre come. “If I wanted to keep you on edge, I’d end it here, you know?”

“Jiwon, no… I’m so close…” Junhwe moaned and squirmed as he begged. “Please, please, _please_.”

His knees buckled when Jiwon swallowed him without warning, sucking him deep into his throat. At that, Junhwe tightened the grip on the other man’s hair and Jiwon moaned, sending vibrations down Junhwe’s already throbbing cock.

The lazy thrusts up were an indicative that Junhwe was about to come, and Jiwon whimpered softly as he felt the salty fluid fill his mouth, breathing through his nose as he swallowed everything, his tongue chasing the last drops down Junhwe’s shaft.

The fingers on his hair became softer and the younger man’s body fell back to rest on the couch.

He finally opened his eyes. “You’re going to be the death of me, you know?”

Jiwon moved up his body, planting kisses on his torso, neck and lastly, on his mouth.

“Shut up, I’m here to keep you alive with me.” He replied with a lazy smile.

\--

And when they’re about to fall asleep, legs tangled together and a headful of Jiwon laying down on his chest, Junhwe becomes one hundred percent sure he’s lucky.

They’re in the writer’s bedroom, surrounded by soft pillows and blankets, the moonlight accentuating Jiwon’s best features — his nose, his jaw, his half-lidded eyes — and suddenly both of them are in the clouds.

It’s in nights like these that Junhwe feels romantic, his mouth faster than his brain in the task of waxing poetic. His bedroom has always been the headspring to most of his poetry, anyways.

“I do not love you like a carnation or a rose, even if you love me like one…” Junhwe starts, his voice low and his hands finding Jiwon’s soft locks to caress them. “I love you like a flower that never blooms. I learned how to love, and I’m free to love all thanks to your persistence to find sweetness inside me. I mean…  I still love you without knowing how or when or from where, but you guide me so easily that I know I will always follow.” He ends with a kiss to the top of Jiwon’s head.

Jiwon must be used by now, to have sleepy or drunk or just extra soft Junhwe talk sweet to him out of nowhere, following his heart only to make him feel special. He must be feeling the writer’s heartbeat increasing, and he hopes the beat helps him with the tempo of his verses.

“Have you ever seen a flower follow a hummingbird before?” Jiwon asks and his breath makes Junhwe’s chest impossibly warm.

He laughs. “In poetry there’s always a first to every metaphor.”

The editor sighs and nests himself in Junhwe’s body, molded perfectly for him. He closes his eyes so Junhwe can follow and close his too, and considering he’s content with the reply, they both drift off to sleep.

\---

If Junhwe can finish any books after meeting Jiwon, is because even if seasons change and inspiration becomes more volatile, he knows Jiwon will keep spring alive in his heart.

And even their fights — rare, but still present like every other couple — are helpful in their own peculiar way, for art is able to find home in every single situation.

Well, it must rain for flowers to grow.

Thankfully they’re alone at the moment Jiwon cries after reading the dedication in Junhwe’s finally finished book, ready to be published and praised by all of his readers. _‘I love you because I know no other way than this: where I do not exist, neither do you.’_

His fingers run through the outlines of a red carnation drawn at the bottom of the page, and he turns to Junhwe to suffocate him in a hug that lasts longer than any other they have shared before, because it seals the end of a cycle for them.

On the other hand, their relationship doesn’t end after Junhwe is done with his romance. It only grows stronger with every challenge, every task they have to overcome together, hand in hand.

Jiwon becomes an irreplaceable part of his life, his presence growing like vine around everything Junhwe owns and lives. He becomes Chanwoo’s partner to baseball games, Hyuna’s driver when she’s too drunk in the middle of the night — which earns him a few presents in return, such as food and the girl taking his side in dumb fights — and Bbangdaengie’s favorite person.

Destiny, a cupid, Aphrodite… Whoever responsible for this romance knew that for Junhwe, it was only a matter of time before he met the perfect person for him.

And he did, in the middle of a creativity chaos, he met Jiwon, the man who didn’t pull him out of his head, but rather turned the place into a beautiful garden.

So, exactly a year later after they met, when Junhwe publishes his newest poetry book, named ‘ _Codename Hummingbird’_ , Jiwon knows it’s for him, only for him, even if his _boyfriend_ doesn’t say it out loud to the world, because he doesn’t need to.

And damn, how good it feels to know it’s been considered Junhwe’s most romantic piece of art.

**Author's Note:**

> i can't really believe i finished this. if you follow me on twitter (@jjunhwe [winks]) you know it took me forever to write this fic. i started it during winter to make me happy about the weather and i finished it a month after spring arrived. a miracle. 
> 
> i wanna thank aline from the bottom of my heart for spending all our civil law classes helping me to come up with ideas for this fic. your mind is amazing.
> 
> the second to last scene is heavily inspired by pablo neruda's sonnet xvii, such as junhwe's dedication on his book. his poetry was a great inspiration for me while writing, along with vinicius de moraes and manuel bandeira, two of my favorite brazilian poets. cazuza's song was the base for my idea and i love this song from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> thank you all for reading and i hope you enjoyed this fic! ♥


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